THE BLOCK OF 4 B 2

HISTORY

The Block's origins are recorded as far back as the early part of the 1900’s - over a century ago

As the story goes, the Block originally came from a branch of a large Red River Gum situated on the banks of the Diamantina river in western Queensland.

This particular Gum was only about a stone's throw from the now, well known, Combo Waterhole on Dagworth Station.

The branch had fallen down after a wild thunderstorm and was retrieved by an old local ringer by the name of Bluey.

Blue trimmed the branch and for many years after that it was used as a seat on a tourist barge on the outer Barcoo.

A keen drover with a sound knowledge of timber was impressed with its quality and despatched the branch to the local timber merchants where, after milling, it finished up as the main workbench support in the original Qantas Hangar at Longreach Airport.

After doing a sterling job for many years, it was retired to pasture and was rediscovered recently by one of the unknown aviators of the time, who was apparently well aware of its quality and history.

It was then used for several years down in the big smoke as an effective deterrent, warding off unwanted household intruders and where it started to get this reputation as a mystical weapon.

A recent modification to the Block involved the turning of a handle from one of the end sections to give the female of our species an opportunity to experience the power and might of the 4 B 2.

USES

As well as a master deterrent, the Block has been found useful in many various applications.

The main use nowadays is to try to knock some sense into those who are apparently not listening, or who are stubborn.
  • It can also be used for protection against prowlers, sex maniacs, wild pigs, crazed dogs and large cockroaches, and, more recently, to assist in sorting out bureaucrats employed in the Aviation section of the OZ society who have been found to be hard of hearing and/or are suffering from a serious problem virus.

The unmedical opinion is use of the 4 X 2 unblocks ear passages for those suffering from this hearing disorder and is also useful for clearing up the infectious "stubborn" virus that has been found within the public service sector.

OPERATION

The Block's effectiveness of operation is dramatically increased when using the following approved sequence and is normally used only when all else has failed: -
  • Display the Block to the target in an upright manner by holding the unit in the right hand and placing above one's head with a forward angle of 83 degrees to the horizontal.
  • Maintain this stance, and if, after exactly 2 minutes, there is no result, lower the Block with a quick downward motion, immediately followed by horizontal swing in an anti-clockwise direction at shoulder height until contact is made with the target.
  • If the desired result is not achieved after transgressing 360 degrees, reverse the Block; rotate upward at precisely 70.34 degrees for 27.0056 milliseconds and then stop.
  • Maintain the position for no longer than 2 minutes and repeat as necessary until successful.

GUARANTEE

A guarantee is not required …the certified actions as detailed above ..... Work.